Long Island Girls and My No Tolerance Policy

In American culture, we are taught not to generalize. Certainly in the Jewish community, we are taught that such generalizations about Jews are hurtful and anti-semitic. In fact – the term “JAP� itself is considered a racial slur of sorts – even if it is limited to the female gender and higher classes, and even as the Forward Newspaper, the premier Jewish newspaper - accepts such a focus on materialism as a real trend within American Jewish life – and more intensely so among its women.

I dated a Long Island girl who, despite her claims of horror at and claims of thinking differently than the JAPS she grew up with, not only continued friendships these types of women who she knew from her past, but made new friendships predominantly with the same types of women. In the end, we conceded we had a value system too radical to continue dating. I knew it wasn’t happening when, after pondering an idea, she screamed at me “Why are you worrying about things like this when you should be concentrating on your career!�

I also had some painful incidents with Long Island girls when one had decided that it was ridiculous I expressed interest in her sister because she was so “out of my league.� I’m not angry at her for feeling that way. I’m just angry at her for expressing it in those terms to common friends of mine.

So were they.

But the bad incidents were not what finally lead me to consider and impose a general not-in-my-network policy. Rather, it was a first date that wasn’t even that bad. She was a girl who was intellectual, and had a sense of humor. But she was determined not to be a JAP, and to show the world that not all Jewish girls were like that.

I felt that this illuminated how pervasive the value system for these women truly is. You never meet Jewish girls from the former Soviet Union or from Beersheva who feel a need to prove that not all Jewish girls are JAPS.

Additionally, there is a false sense of smug among JAPS that when they are not materially focused, but have some level of interest about anything other than a shopping spree and a summer share in the Hamptons that this means they don’t suffer from this malaise.

But the JAP condition is much more than mere vulgar materialism. Watch how they react when you disagree with them on a political or philosophical issue outside their specific brand of liberalism. They don’t just take it personally – they take it as a rebellion. There simply is no acceptable world view outside of their own. An eloquent rebuttal isn’t even necessary. That would dignify such views! Eye rolling and lip curling only, please.

When I took a Marxist course at City College, and was the most outspoken dissident against a classroom of believers – they were more accepting of my different take on politics and economics than most JAPS are.

And they were hardly accepting.

Additionally, I am not saying that the JAP phenomenon is limited to Long Island. It is certainly not. But if you point to Scarsdale or Potomac, MD – you are not disagreeing with me. Rather, you are arguing for a more expansive policy of exclusion. As that’s the case - I have no interest in disagreeing with you.

I am also not claiming that there aren’t neighborhoods in Long Island somewhere that are different than the Long Island I am describing – there are more middle class ones – I have met people - Jewish girls even – from there – and they are not who I am speaking of.

But the template of JAP is most intense, and without nuance, in Long Island, as this is the greatest home in both density and size of such women.

It is for this reason that I began a no-tolerance policy of allowing Long Island Jewish girls into my life on any level. I don’t like how they make me feel for thinking different than they do, or the value system that inevitably surfaces, despite any and all vehement claims to the contrary.

In business, if a sector of the economy is consistently losing money, say the typewriter industry when pc computers started becoming big - and you are given the opportunity to invest - you don’t put money in such in industry because maybe one of the companies is “not like that� and will in the end make a profit despite the general downward curve of the industry as a whole.

So too with Long Island Jewish girls. And I’m not saying they’re evil.

I’m just saying they’re soul killers.

For me.

Maybe it’s not nice – but I feel a whole lot better since I started this policy.

And I met some really nice women from Queens and Brooklyn.