I’m Not Some Anti-Gentrication Cracker-Ass Lefty Poseur, But…

I live in a diverse neighborhood. Unlike some, (many of whom don’t actually intend on living in a diverse neighborhood themselves, at least not once they’re married, but approve of other whites of more modest economic means living in one) I don’t see a value in this for others. It’s my preference, my meshegas. But not because I’m a nice guy who loves everybody and gets all idealistic and thinks I’m part of some grand rainbow coalition because the Puerto Rican guys playing dominos sort of nod at me when I pass them on my way into the Middle Eastern bodega. Sure, they’re better than the yuppies, but I don’t really like most people. I don’t care that much that we’re cool. Okay, maybe I care a little, but I just hate ghettos. All of them. I lived in a Jewish one. More than one Jewish one. Briefly. I felt I was under sheitel rule. But the main reason I like living in a diverse neighborhood is because the “diverse” factor is (in New York)directly related to cost of rent and the amount of ninety-nine cent stores and other cheap affordable stuff, something which many Jews can appreciate I personally prefer.

But I don’t mind if white people move into a neighborhood. That’s a totally rediculous platform to espouse. After all, when is it that a neighborhood that once was white, but many of them left, no longer allowed to have new whites move in? Who came up with that nonsense? Harlem was the third largest Jewish neighborhood in world in the early 20th century. So now they shouldn’t be allowed to move there? Let them move there! There’s still a great synagogue in Harlem, the Old Broadway Shul. It’s been around since 1923, and they could use more members.

So I am all for white people living where they want. Even in my building, cause I’m open minded like that.

But…no college kids. ESPECIALLY rich and spoiled ivy league kids. They just don’t SHUT UP. They scream and whoop it up until 3am, on any given night. Worse…much worse…they sing. They sing RENT. I (now) hate RENT.

Sung to the tune of RENT’s anthem:

Another time

Another place

Sing ’bout the poor

Like they’re your class or space

You’re from the ‘burbs

And merely passing through

with no respect

And that’s why I hate youuuuuuuuu

CHORUS

Some of us work.

You brats are creeps.

Please shut up nooooow….So I can get some sleep.