Posts from — January 2006

I don’t know the details of the case, but apparently, a child molester is being protected by the yeshiva he teaches at in Brooklyn, and numerous complaints have been dismissed by the administration. UOJ is sending a letter out to various institutions, and encouraging people to copy and send the letter to everyone they know in the community.

This could be a telling sign of the power of a Haredi community to stonewall versus the ability of the Internet to rally the accusers.

Regardless, on some level, shit’s going down.

“There’s a girl involved.” — Me
“There’s always a girl involved.” – Lyle Wexler

I recently dated an Orthodox woman, a woman who is everything that Jewish women are at their best. Highly intuitive, kind, empathetic, modest, and beautiful. A complete shtetl bunny. I hadn’t fallen for a girl that hard that in years.

We hoped against hope (numerous times) that our religious difference could be bridged to some degree, that we could find a middle ground of sorts. But her sincere faith rekindled a lot of dark and dormant issues from my ba’al tshuva days, and as I revisited Orthodoxy from an older perspective, I found that I had not put them on the back burner, that I wasn’t “conflicted,� but rather, to a large degree, I had rejected, or at least could not commit to, many aspects of traditional Judaism. That it wasn’t about only being hurt and disappointment, it was also about very reasonable doubt, and heresy.

During this time I began fighting with beyondbt.com, which has some very nice posters, as well some very fundamentalist ones. I think that if I am honest, this was exacerbated by the romantic struggle I was having in my own life, though I have always struggled with some of these issues since I was nine years old, and went to my Orthodox Rabbi’s house for shabbos lunch for the first time, and my troubled relationship with Torah Judaism began. The Rabbi is a tzaddik, a maverick, and absolutely unmatched when it comes to emotionally intuitive issues. This is recognized as well in the prominent yeshiva he attends a half a day, where students line up for his advice. This was confusing to me later, as I thought The Rabbi was representative of Orthodoxy.

But like many BT’s who went in too far and too deep (though I was always on the Left within that paradigm) I found myself in a very bad place eventually. I went to YU, but that was unbearable in a very different way–and yet in some ways exactly the same sort of way.

I see BT’s who did things differently and love traditional Judaism, and at least with the ones who didn’t lose themselves to it or give up too much, I concede they may have something positive in their lives. But I just don’t believe it, and can’t stand the cultural aspects of it, nor the limitations that the trappings and the enclave put on a member. Modern Orthodox too. Essentially, I have no interest in being a part of an Orthodox community, even though I am only comfortable in an Orthodox shul.

Unlike many of my fellow contributors on Jewschool, I do not see progressive change or evolution as the answer, as I don’t think we have that mandate. It’s just not the driving force of the religion. We can opt out, not change the religion. And I frequently prefer to opt out.

But I never go very far, at least not for long.

Mordechai Strigler, the long-standing previous editor of the Yiddish Forverts, was known, in later life, to lay tefillin on occasion. It was said he did so not because he was a believer, but in order to do a mitzvah. I did not understand what this meant, until I noticed this was a similar motivation in my own life. A broken faith is not necessarily completely severed in every way. There are still loyalties, there are still attachments, there is still value, and there is still room for some possibility of kernels of truth.

But it is not enough for an Orthodox woman.

Muticulturalism or ZOG Machinations?

When most New Yorkers think “Festival of Lights,” they aren’t thinking of Diwali. But it is a serious holiday for the Hindus, and this year, they will get the kind of official recognition that says “We are a force of our own. We as a community have arrived.” This year, alternate-side parking rules will be suspended (first day of yontiff only).

But is Diwali getting this supreme nod of recognition because of New York’s natural inclusivity and respect for multiculturalism, or did the Big Bagel’s powers that be extract a guarantee of support on some future, as of yet undisclosed, issue?

You be the Judge!

The NY Times reports,

Mr. Kapadia’s proudest moment came last month, when, after several years of lobbying, the City Council recognized Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights, as an official city holiday.

“For Muslims there are four or five holidays,” Mr. Kapadia said the other day, sitting in a small, cramped office in the rear of his store that was decorated with half a dozen 2006 calendars. “Jews have more. There was no Hindu holiday.”

I’m not saying who or what. I’m just saying that if you want alternate side parking from those who “have more,” it’s going to cost you.

Full Story

I like Judith Weiss of Kesher Talk, even if she doesn’t like me very much. I don’t agree with most of what she says, but Judith is eloquent, witty (not entirely unheard of for a moderate feminist), spunky, and kinda cute (not uncommon at all for a neocon woman).

But her arithmetic skills are not quite as sharp as her writing skills.

Weiss fears a “feminist backlash� over the fact that “nearly six out of ten� bachelor’s degrees will be awarded to women this June, as reported in the New Republic. But she thinks that we should all “calm down,� as six out of ten only translates into “slightly more than half.�

Comments were quickly made on her site to explain that 6 to 4 is, in fact, a 1.5 to 1 ratio, which is not “slightly more than half,� but rather, a “significant difference,� and a reasonable cause for concern.

However, as a graduate of YU, I can personally attest to the fact that if I did it all over again, I would prefer to have an undergraduate campus environment with exactly this sort of gender ratio. Six out of ten sounds a hell of a lot better than zero out of ten!

But I still might join in the “feminist backlash.�

Because I’m a hypocrite like that.

BeyondBT is nominated for three different JIB Awards this year, suggesting the quiescent fundamentalists are continuing to gain ground in the Jewish world.

I had high hopes for beyondbt.com. They insisted that when I thought I was banned or edited, it was in fact a technical error. They were right. But that was almost a month ago! Since then, my comments have been deleted, and all comments posted must now “await moderation.�

Why, you ask? Because I did the unthinkable. I did what no Jew should ever, ever do. I criticized today’s holiest of holies.

I criticized Dark Light (Ohr Somayach) and Fire Hazard (Aish HaTorah).

Look, I admit that I am not surprised. Even though Beyondbt administrator David Linn wrote in the comments of my blog way back in the day (in December) that,

“You have never been banned from our site. Nobody has been. Neither have any comments by you ever been edited or deleted. You, and anyone else, are more than welcome to comment on our site.�

And in regards to my protest of an Aish HaTorah’s viewpoint I criticized on The Kvetcher, Linn made sure to note that, “Rabbi Schwartz is a Guest Commenter at beyondbt.com and his opinion is his own. Please feel free to comment upon it on our blog.�

And so I did, and a few weeks later, they began to delete my comments (just as they did to Ba’al Tshuvahs Anonymous). An administrator explained their position for this censorship in “One Billion Chinese Can’t be Wrong,â€? saying,

“We rarely delete comments, but sometimes we have no choice.�

One of my comments that gave “no choice� was this comment,

“Ohr Somayach encourages socio-economic destruction from all but the most wealthy of its adherents.�

Never the less, Rabbi Goldson “rebutted” me anyway, because “exposing the fallacies in your reasoning may be instructive to others.” Without my actual argument, of course.

It was a brilliant victory.

Now I admit I am not painting a pretty picture, but I was not using foul language, I was not calling anyone names. I believe, as horrible as it is (and I do think it’s horrible), that they do just that. And so do they, apparently, or they simply would have asked me what I was talking about.

I also gave (on a different erased comment) eight questions for these defenders of Dark Light and Fire Hazard:

1) Do they not discourage college?
2) Do they not encourage you to drop your previous network of friends?
3) Do they not encourage Kollel, which is in Israel, on the government dole?
4) Do they not encourage a “break” from work or school?
5) Do they not discourage birth control? That is, more kids?
6) Do they not encourage private school for each child? Is that not a significant amount of money?
7) Does Rabbi Mendel Weinbach, [the Rosh Yeshiva of the Ohr Somayach franchises] not consider it absolutely critical to remove a “bachur” from an “environmentâ€? of sin? Does this isolation not prevent an expansion of his existing network as well as prevent professional experience and growth, a separate issue of opportunity cost in addition to just the paycheck?

But they don’t want to talk about that. They don’t want to address these issues. They have more important ones. Such as why it isn’t strange at all to dress like the Amish when everyone else dressed in uniform in communist China or some wacko country club, or pretending that those select few in a Big-Five accounting firm dress that way seven days a week and at night as well. OR that those crazy eccentrics who don’t wear all black are degenerate and immature, quirky, and a big rebel “non-conformists� (not the subtle kind) focused on bullshit superficiality, unlike the Ultra-Orthodox who focus on bullshit superficiality for good reason.

Sound like I’m exaggerating? Well to be fair, I will only use quotes from those writers who have had articles (not just comments) posted on beyondbt.com

No worse than the Democratic convention! “At Elks Club meetings (or so I imagine), everyone wears pins or hats or some other symbol of their brotherhood. At the 2008 Democratic convention, everyone will be wearing (in all likelihood) Hillary for President buttons testifying to their common political vision. Is this conformity? Is it bad?� – January 12th, 2006 - Rabbi Yonason Goldson

No worse even than communist China! “Thousands and thousands of bicycles. All of them the same make, the same model, and the same color — black. “How do you tell them apart?� we asked our host. He laughed at the question. “One may have a ribbon around the handle, a scratch on the fender, or a bell on the handlebar�. In other words, although they were all the same, they were all different.� January 12th, 2006 - Rabbi Yonason Goldson

Better than earrings! “I recently started growing my payis. They have gotten long enough so that when I tuck them behind my ears you can see a little bit of them peeking out from the bottom of my ear.â€? — Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, January 2nd, 2006 8:26 am - Aryeh Leib Ecker

They’re quirky. We’re keeping it real! “Such quirkiness represents little more than a clichéd, shallow conformist’s losing touch with their individuality by “going with the (nonconformist) flowâ€?. Towards a Subtler Nonconformity, December 22nd, 2005, Rabbi Dovid Schwartz

“I think that was my favorite post here so far. I especially like the concept that our dressing uniformly (though we women arguably have more leeway) is what forces us to define ourselves as individuals.� Kressel Housman, December 22nd

“In one generation it was long hair and faded jeans, now it’s spiky hair and pierced eyebrows, but it’s no more an expression of “individualism� than drinking water. How you dress is an expression of group identity, not individuality.� Yaakov Menken, December 23rd (I’m cheating! Menken has never been permitted to post on beyondbt – he is a fundamentalist writer who is allowed to post on cross-currents! But isn’t his comment a gas? He must hang out with the real winners on Bond Street in Baltimore after maariv. “Spiky hair� and “pierced eyebrows� indeed!)

Deep thoughts! “As we learn more we become more aware of what is appropriate in different situations. This is true for everyone in society (you don’t wear jeans to a black tie affair).� Michael Salzbank, December 18th

Only if you’re married to Ya’akov Avinu! “Can One be a Frum Jew with a Nose-Ring?� December 15th, 2005 3:16 pm - Rachel Adler

High School OR Black Hat – Jew Decide! �The punk rocker types with their spikey hair, black clothes, and combat boots were Non-Conformists Supreme. The worst put-down from one of them was, “You’re such a conformist.� Kressel Housman, December 14th, 2005

A made man. �I remember when I first decided to wear a hat and my good friend said, “Now ditch the Metsudah siddur and you can just coast from here on in�. Mark Frankel, December 13th

More radical than a hippy on acid! “We have bucked the philosophies, mores, trends and fads that we were brought up with in a manner that is often jolting if not shocking to our parents and friends.� David Linn, December 13th.

You see, Rabosai, Beyondbt can’t worry about pesky superficial things like, “Should I listen to my rabbi who says I should wait and wait and wait and perhaps never go to college?�

Nor can they worry about other things like, “Hey, I have to admit, I like smart, artsy, rated-R drama movies, and that seems to be counter-Torah, but I have to admit, frum cultural options just don’t cut it for me!�

Or, “Why can’t I eat michigs out again? What about just a bagel? Or lunch at a vegetarian restaurant? “

And they certainly don’t tackle issues like, “You know what? This whole shomer-negiah thing isn’t all its cracked up to be! And since I’m finishing college late thanks to my Spiritual Guide’s wonderful advice and am in no position to get married, I may have to revisit that policy!�

And you probably won’t hear a lot about the fact that maybe some of that “cutting off� of your previous gentile and secular friends has left you feeling empty and isolated, and that you now think that was a stupid thing to have done, because the ones who put up with your fanaticism are, in fact, the ones most dear to you now. Because you went through a lot together. You grew up together.

Don’t expect those types of questions to be grappled with on beyondbt.com Just expect to see the most extreme examples brought to either justify the frum world, or alternatively, to be presented as normative in the secular world, therefore “proving� the frum world’s superiority. And don’t ask the harder questions. It just means you’re not one of the “overwhelming percentage� of “happy� people who loved radically changing their lifestyle and becoming a fundamentalist. You probably have serious emotional problems if that didn’t work for you. There is no other explanation. Sure, the frum world isn’t perfect, and not every Spiritual Guide is perfect, but if you don’t like it, the problem must be you.

“It’s not easy facin’ up when your whole world is black� – Rolling Stones

So after UOJ got hacked (more on that later! here) and BeyondBT “edited” my comments (more on that later!) I have decided that too much of the focus on Jewish fundamentalism is on the activist branches, instead of the quiescent movements, even as those quiescent fundamentalist movements continue to expand. They are fueled by horrible institutions that encourage socio-economic destruction such as Dark Light and Fire Hazard, and they continue to gain ground and slip under the radar of the Jewish world which is more focused on the Zionist movements.

I support diversity, but there are limits. Like say, if my new neighbors aren’t religious enough. Then I riot, and when the cops come, I throw stones, because they made me.

Ynet reports,

Hundreds of ultra-Orthodox on Monday blocked a road leading to the Ramat Beit Shemesh neighborhood near Jerusalem, set fire to garbage carts and hurled stones at police officers who were dispatched to the area.

The reason for the commotion was a protest against a new family that moved to the neighborhood and is “not religious enough,” according to the protestors.

An hour later, police officers managed to disperse the demonstration and opened the road for traffic.

The demonstrators were also protesting the arrest of two ultra-Orthodox men Sunday night, after the two blocked the road with garbage bins to protest against the presence of the new family.

Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “Hey, that story doesn’t say the family isn’t religious, it says they aren’t religious enough!”

But that’s just the point. That’s even more dangerous. A little Torah is worse than no Torah at all. They represent a gateway to athiesm and a hefker lifestyle. Such a neighborhood can also destroy the reputation of our community, and make shidduchim difficult for our children. And I heard the mother of this family is a big whore. Look at her head “covering.” Do you see what I see? That’s right! Hair sticking out — REAL HAIR!

They are Yavanim. Let them go elsewhere. Nisht do!

Hat Tip: Mobius of Jewschool

So Heeb is having their second annual karaoke party. I had a good time at the last one, but don’t think that this was partially because there were some fine ladies there. This was the entire reason, and it will be the case again!

And they are friendly. Real friendly.

They will pose with you.

They will sing with you.

It’s a really warm crowd.

You should definitely come. Even if you don’t like karoake.

Cause this is Heeb style.

8:00 PM 1.24.06

at the Knitting Factory, Old Office, 74 Leonard Street, NYC

It has come to my attention from people who I didn’t even know read this blog that they are sometimes unaware of when I post elsewhere. So I will mention it here, unless it is a promo or something.

Anyway, here is a post I wrote on Jewschool about a Jewish Week article on a “super-mom” of a rabbi.

Gawker complained (employing the yiddish term “feh”) about CNN’s choice of photo to illustrate the waiting on any developments in Sharon’s health status, which included a man with sunglasses who Gawker speculated was doing so in
“the hope of looking cool by wearing sunglasses indoors.”

Can these snarky Gawker guys think for a moment before mocking those who are clearly in pain? When a great leader lays dying before you, and you were close to him, mere mortals not governed by ironic sensibilities are prone to tears. Sunglasses allow you a little privacy and dignity when doing so.

Feh indeed.