Rant of a Modified Agnostic Loyalist

Very often there is a focus on the disparity of faith between the believer and the unbeliever. This is true in every religion, but it is most frequently juxtaposed by the Fundamentalist. The choice is Manichean; it is between faith and secularism. Christian fundamentalists are particularly overt, as they attempt to categorize their opponents as “secular humanists,â€? who believe in “moral relativism,” even though as Dr. Samuel Heilman noted once in his class on comparative fundamentalism, very few people actually identify themselves as Secular Humanists.

What is not talked about as much are those members of a faith I would term modified agnostic loyalists. We have a lot of doubts, but still see believe in the comparative moral advantage and superiority of our respective faiths.

In Judaism, many of this mindset traditionally preferred the Conservative movement, as it allows for wiggle room and “evolution� of Jewish Law and practice.

This never really sat well with me, as I always found the movement in practice to be a cop out on many levels, every level really, with too much concern for reconciling Judaism with the norms of the day, no matter how unproven. Certainly I question the divinity of Judaism, but I don’t question the divinity of Newsweek, and too often, the Conservative movement seems to look for spiritual guidance in the general tagablatts and vuchablatts that usually have no business or even interest in dictating Jewish anything, (outside of what Israel should do, of course, and they don’t listen to that part anyway).

The Conservadox attempt to find halachic precedents for their changes, but again, all too often, the issue seems to be about reconciling Judaism to fit in with their own political and gender issues. Mostly their gender issues(read feminist). Like if that were solved (it can’t be) it would all make sense (it wouldn’t).

I am less worried about the problem of how to change Judaism to make me happy. I can’t change Judaism, though I can opt out, on many different levels, and I certainly do so. I am interested in how a lack of faith but not a complete lack of faith translates into policy on a personal level in terms of Jewish commitment.

In a certain sense, my hierarchy (Torah first, Talmud as primary explanation of Torah Law, but non-Torah ideas expounded upon in the Talmud such as science given less weight) parallels many Modern Orthodox Jews, except my curve is much lower on the graph, because I don’t feel as restricted by either faith or community.

Perhaps there should be a handbook for Jews who kind of believe it on some level, but are not sure how much or in what part. Who don’t have the audacity to attempt to change the religion, but don’t intend to do every last bit of it either.

There would be differing opinions to the norm. Not based on modern interpretations of Jewish thought, but ancient ones.

We know Judaism became more rigid and stringent over the years, and not all of us are willing to pay that hefty price to fulfill it.

But not all of us are willing to listen to some woman Rabbi adorned in a colorful tallit babble about Martin Luther King Day as if it’s a new Jewish High Holiday either.

There’s not knowing what the truth is, and then there’s just making shit up.