Dancing in Babylon

Another full proof on how the Jewish Far-Right and the Far-Left are closer to each other than with their respective moderates!

While the secular and religious fundamentalists are preparing to brawl in Jerusalem, I would like to tell a story about a subject that both the gays and the frummies have no interest in: mixed dancing.

Last night I was at Apt, this fancy club in the Meatpacking District I barely knew existed until yesterday, since I don’t usually go to the Meatpacking District, because it is against my cultural Judaism to spend too much money on drinks. But I had reason to be there last night, and was hanging out with friends while a buddy of mine was the DJ, when not downing mojitos. And I must concede that with the fancy classy club, comes the fancy, classy women. Particularly when this DJ is spinning.

So at one point, I was standing alone while a different friend grabbed a drink, when a blond shikse (I assure you I am not using this term pejoratively) came over to me and demanded I dance with her. And she wasn’t even completely bombed out of her mind; I usually got the gist of what she was saying the second time she repeated it.

But soon she grew annoyed that I couldn’t dance very well (at all) and kept asking me to show her my moves. I didn’t have time to explain that I was never all that coordinated, and the only dance I really knew was to grab a bunch of guys, hold hands, and dance in a circle, while declaring the world in its entirety is a very narrow bridge. I just said I didn’t know how to dance. She was not pleased with this, and was quite forward about it, but she did try to teach me The Pretzel. I did not really get the gist of it even the second time she repeated it.

But my point is not really to complain that I don’t know how to dance, or point out another way that Charedism at a tender age was an unfortunate decision, or satirize both the far-Right and the far-Left in one post, though this is never a bad idea. Rather, I wanted to share that an adorable blond shikse (I assure you I am not using this term pejoratively) came over to me last night in a nightclub and demanded I dance with her. I would like to share this information with anybody who is willing to listen.

Update: I Win!