A Young Woman’s Greatest Pleasure
I met a young woman at a safe house. She looked and dressed very frum. But of course, she wouldn’t have been there reading The Humanist if that were the case, We began to talk, and she explained that she comes from a near-haredi background, and a haredi school system. She is no longer religious, and is now getting her doctorate, which was difficult for her to secure, as she learned little from her “dual curriculum� bachelors she earned at a seminary in Israel while still frum. But she is brilliant and determined, and that helped a lot.
She told me of how liberated she feels, and noted that what she finds most liberating is not the foods she can now eat, or not having to contend with lockdown for 25 hours a week, or being able to date anybody (she has not yet dated outside the tribe, but expects to eventually) but rather, the ability to think any thought, consider any subject and possibility, without making her way to the usual prescribed answers. I was stunned, as for me, this is sometimes one of the most terrifying, even debilitating, aspects of secularism.
I had always thought that it was Judaism’s greatest strength that our focus was always on the questions, not the answers. But perhaps that is because we aren’t really allowed to question the big answers…only how we get there.
Perhaps our greatest strength is, for some, our greatest weakest. For some. As in, some of our best and brightest. Or should I say, some of the haredi world’s best and brightest.
18 comments
What exactly is a safe house?
And how old was this girl?
And if she is not frum anymore, why, pray tell, was she dressed religious?
Anon,
For many former haredim, dress is the last thing to go. Also, it costs money to replace one’s wardrobe.
Sounds like a fascinating young woman. Is she looking?
Safe house?
What’s really sad here is that this person seems to believe that she’s free of the influence of her upbringing, but isn’t. Likely she was indoctrinated that any ideas that are not haredi are pretty much atheism, and she’s still caught in this pattern. So I hope she uses her new freedom as an opportunity to conduct a serious inquiry rather than as a form of rebellion.
And what’s up with the safe house? Is the KGB after her?
DK, you have gotten like a dozen questions here from your readers …. we need answers, my friend, answers.
All interested should email me privately. EV should stop being a wuss and get off his tuchus once in a while when I call him and tell him to go somewhere instead of being all “I can’t, I have to go to sleep, tomorrow is a long day, I have to work until 2pm, maybe 2:30, boohoohoo
Fine, here’s all the information about it you need. http://yiddish.forward.com/arc.....item3.html
Some half-Sephardic types don’t understand that language…
I hope no one minds me stepping in here. A “safehouse” is exactly what it sounds like: a safe place to stay for someone who has broken away from a controlling influence in his or her life. Most famously, the “Underground Railroad” in the era of slavery in the US was a network of “safehouses” where runaway slaves could stay as they moved towards anti-slavery states or countries. The US (and Israel I presume) have networks of safehouses for women who are fleeing a violent partner; the options for abused men are more limited but they are increasing. There are safehouses for people fleeing a cult, often run by former members of the cult.
On a more controversial note, there are safehouses for women who have taken their children and “gone underground” to avoid having to share custody with someone they believe to be abusive. There are short-term safehouses in some US cities for women who are seeking abortions, although these tend to be more like hostels since so many women travel long distances and are subject to “waiting periods” of up to 3 days before they can obtain an abortion.
I figured you were talking about Chulent; and I have a suspicion as to who the individual in question is.
Carry on…
for those who don’t understand that language… the article is suppose to be translated and come out in English in a few weeks.
Young women raised in cheredi cults often lack the skills necessary to navigate the real world. Their education and experience is seriously retarded (pun intended?). And yes, there are fathers and husbands who would and do abduct women or use terroristic threatening and even violence to try and prevent them from escaping the cult. It’s not just muslim women - it’s us, too. Some are not above using force and violence against dissenting opinions. There’s no freedom of thought, religion, or equal rights in many cheredi households - you all should know that.
They do know it, Ahavah; or they would, if they could quit deluding themselves with the “Am Hanivkhar” mindset.
I find that interesting, especially considering who you’re talking about. I know plenty of chareidim who have the intellectual freedom to think about anything they want and draw their own conclusions.
Mohamed,
Could it be the parameters are set differently for men? And do such parameters anyway change with age?
I don’t know, I was never anything but a man. I don’t think they change with age, I was thinking since I was a kid.
I think it’s really too subjective to generalize but I find it funny that she feels that way. I never did.
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