The Jewish Press Assures Us There is No Need to Worry About the Environment

And here I was, listening to all those silly scientists, with all their gloom and doom scenarios. Everyone, go back to your SUVs, and don’t worry about the little things. Like how our planet is being destroyed.

The Jewish Press, one of the most respected periodicals in the science community, explains,

Seems we just can’t get away from all those warnings of envirnomental [sic] catastrophe that fly in the face of Parashat Noach.

Full dissertation.