Posts from — April 2008

So this new “Name Our Glatt Kosher Restaurant,” is replacing Chickpea on 3rd Ave in the East Village, as it was not kosher enough for some people including Jewdar from…Heeb? Does Jewdar think he is writing for the Jewish Observer? Where the hell does this guy get off acting like his readership would discount a kosher restaurant because of his fahfrumpte standards? The rabbi comes once a month, he blesses the food, end of story, Jewdar, okay? I mean, Jesus, Jewdar, why don’t you just keep your fundamentalist bullshit under wraps and stick to cracking Holocaust jokes? Look…the prince of England just went to Krakow to open a Jewish community center…go get ‘em, tiger!

Anyway, my issue isn’t Jewdar or how he should stop trashing perfectly fine, if slightly shady, kosher establishments.

My issue is that ““Name Our Glatt Kosher Restaurant,” which replaced the kosher enough for The Kvetcher, thank you very much, gave $3,000 to name their new mehadrin restaurant, and they chose…”Kosher Village.“ Get it? It’s KOSHER and it’s in the East VILLAGE.

Un. Fucking. Believable.

Still…some people were actually very excited about this Christening Heimeshing. You know who? I’ll tell you. The Kosher Village proprietors! So happy, in fact, that they sent out an email press release celebrating the fact to everyone who applied. They sent out this email press release celebrating the fact to everyone who applied…twelve times. They sent out this email press release celebrating the fact to everyone who applied twelve times…with everyone’s email address clearly visible.

NY Magazine, referencing the whole thing as “Felafelgate,” asks, “Was it all a scam?”

Roi Ben-Yehuda is hand-wringing over on Jewcy about the way Jews for Jesus are being treated in Israel. He is upset that the Jews for Jesus are not being accepted as Jews, and notes,

If we are going to say that Hitler and not Halacha determines who is a Jew, then we need to make room for Jews who also believe in Jesus — as Hitler would have done.

Ben-Yehuda has a good point, and I would note that when the Zionist Entity first decided that Hitler was the ultimate authority on who is a Jew, no one could have predicted this problem specifically, or that there would be problems generally. After all, why should there be problems when the Zionists reasonably decided to express their Jewish pride both religiously and as a nation by embracing Hitler as grand posek? Clearly, for their time, the Zionist Entity did the right thing, just…Jewish history took an unpredictable turn, and this ostensibly reasonable choice for an ultimate Jewish authority proved to have shortcomings…but you can’t blame the impeccable reasoning of the Zionists for its time.

If Israel wants to survive, they need to dress haredi. How does Dark Light understand that? Why from the Torah of course!

Rabbi Weinbach, the co-founder and Rosh Yeshiva of Ohr Somayach quotes.

“You shall inherit their land, and I will give it to you… I am the L-rd your G-d, Who has distinguished you from all the nations.” (Vayikra 20:24)“

What does that have to do with dressing like Shimke the Meshuganeh?

“These Divinely spoken words from this week’s Torah portion serve as a timely reminder, as Israel prepares to celebrate its sixtieth birthday, that there is an inseparable connection between our ability to peacefully inherit our Promised Land and our determination to remain distinct in our beliefs and practices from all the nations.”

And which beliefs and practices, you might wonder? Which mitzvahs?

“To our deep regret there are many Jews in Israel who are tempted to imitate the non-Jewish world in matters of dress, entertainment and general culture.”

You see? When the Torah said we were to be distinguished from other nations, that doesn’t mean specifically Jewish mitzvoth like kashrut or Shabbat, it means wearing black hats in July (an ancient Jewish tradition dating back to the 1970 A.C.E.).

And when the frummies counter that R. Weinbach was only attacking the lack of basic modesty in Israel, understand that is not the case at all. Weinbach and his henchmen seek haredi dress and over time, at least publicly, absolute separation from ALL western civilization’s culture. There is no kosher western civilization in R. Weinbach’s mind, there is no kosher western culture.

I know. I was there.

Big Aish is back online! Let’s give them a hug to welcome them back.

Recently, rabbi Harry Maryles agreed with Marty Bluke that Big Aish’s lying for the sake of kiruv is not okay.

Now, before we say, “But it’s pakuach nefesh! Big Aish is helping the Jewish people by lying to them,” let’s keep an open mind, and look at the objections of two Modern Orthodox Jews to Big Aish lying for kiruv.

The statements in question from Big Aish’s article are as follows.

Let’s get something perfectly clear: Jewish women work. One of my neighbors is a nuclear physicist. I’m a zoo veterinarian.
[...]
And nowadays, like women all over the Western world, they work in every field. Some run their own businesses or are part of a larger corporation. Here in Israel one of my neighbors is a nuclear physicist. Another is a school principal. Several good friends are lawyers. One’s a pediatrician. Two are successful artists. I’m a zoo veterinarian.
[...]
My point is, little is forbidden to us. We work in the fields we want. We have open choices. We can choose to work part-time or full-time.

First of all, Israeli ultra-Orthodox society is not “like the western world.” Not for women, not for men. Okay?

So. Our friend Morty wrote,

If Aish Hatorah was a Modern or Centrist Orthodox institution then these statements would be perfectly true and not misleading. However, Aish Hatorah is a Charedi institution and it’s goal for it’s students is that they join Israeli Charedi society. The fact is that if Elizabeth had been born to a Charedi family she would not have had a choice to be a veterinarian, a nuclear physicist or anything other then a school teacher. University study is strictly prohibited. In Yerushalayim and Bnei Brak even getting a high school diploma is prohibited (see this post No Bagrut for Beis Yaakov girls?). All the women that she brings as examples fall into one of 2 categories:

1. Baalei teshuva
2. They grew up in modern homes

None of the women cited grew up in a Charedi home in Israel, because if they had they would not be where they are today.

In addition to the issue with secular education and university, there is an issue of tznius. In many parts of the Israeli Charedi world women are not allowed to drive a car because it is not tzanua. There are many seforim published in the last few years on tznius which prohibit women from working in any non-religious workplace. Therefore to state little is forbidden to us is misleading if not an outright lie according to Aish Hatorah’s hashkafa.

I find it very offensive when Charedi kiruv institutions use examples of Baalei Teshiva or people who were brought up in a more Modern home. Using these people as examples of how well religious Jews can fit into society is very misleading when the institutions themselves don’t believe in that hashkafa. According to Charedi hashkafa, Modern Orthodoxy is pasul and University study is prohibited, yet those are the examples they site when trying to be mekarev people. None of the faculty at Aish Hatorah in Yerushalayim send their daughters to university and their daughters do not have the ability to do what they want.

Rabbi Maryles thought Bluke’s post was so important and well written that he reprinted it in its entirety. He noted in the comments section that,

The Aish site implies that such options are perfectly viable when in fact it actually discourages going to college.

In addition to the lies, which is not the fault of the author, is something else kind of interesting. Buried in the usual Big Aish blather about how the Western world sucks and the haredi world rocks…

The Western world defines success as being at the top of ones field, wielding power and making lots of money. In stark contrast stands the Jewish definition: To what degree have you become a developed human being?

…is a shocking admission on how weird, even freakish, are the demands on professional women if followed seriously.

Because, lets face it, I looked weird: the only one in a dress on night duty during large animal rotations.

I would love to meet the rabbi who encouraged her to wear a dress during “large animal rotations” so I could grab his black hat off and smack his head with it over and over and over….

Big Aish was hacked! This is not good, and certainly not the way any of us wanted to see Big Aish taken down. I don’t want to point fingers, but I wouldn’t rule out anti-Semitic hackers. They have a preference for Jewish sites, and even brought down Heeb magazine a few times. I guess they weren’t the brightest of anti-Semitic hackers to focus on Heeb, but we all look the same to the sonei yisroel (haters of Israel). I don’t think it is necessary to mention that they were clearly Muslim, as this surely that was incidental.

Anyway, I will have to wait to post my newest vicious attack on Big Aish. So hurry up and get live again! Also, Big Aish says they will restore the site, “God willing.” Shouldn’t they have a dash between the G and the D?

I always thought so, and for damned good reason, and even if you are frum, you probably secretly agree. Anyway, I just want to note that as far as I’m concerned, the best place to celebrate the (so-called) eighth day of Pesach is at Absolute Bagels.

The Catholic Church does not fair well in Oren Jacoby’s adaptation of James Carroll’s book, “Constantine’s Sword: The Church and the Jews: A History.”

I highly recommend seeing it.

To be sure, at times, Jacoby overreaches…and some of it doesn’t all add up, in the off chance than any of you – like me — aren’t as well versed in Christianity as you are in Judaism. I missed some things…like the exact importance of the robe of Jesus. But most of it is all too clear, and as someone with a limited background, I found much of it fascinating.

Did you know Constantine–the man who converted Rome to Christianity–killed his own son?

Carroll nails it when he denounces Pope Benedict’s claim that Nazism was created by “neo-paganism.” Rather, Carroll explains, while this is partially true, Nazism had “two parents,” the other being the Catholic Church.

Additionally, Carroll demonstrates all too clearly how even if maybe you can’t quite say that Pious was “Hitler’s pope,” you can certainly say he was “Hitler’s cardinal.” Unbelievable.

Other great exposes include Ted Haggard’s success in using the United States Air Force Academy as an essentially officially recognized recruiting safari for his specific fundamentalist mega church. And yes, we are talking about THE Ted “I like it in the ass and I’m willing to pay for it” Haggard. The film also covers resistance to Haggard and the evangelical control and harassment of resistors, including Mikey Weinstein and his son.

Overall, if you had any doubts as to the importance of the reinstatement of “The Prayer for the Conversion of the Jews,” well, this should make you realize that it is indeed problematic. The ADL is actually right. I guess when you bark at everyone who walks by you eventually end up barking at someone who deserves it.

Ramaz is perhaps the most prestigious of all overtly Jewish day schools in the nation. We can, therefore, deduce a few things about the Jewish community from this Modern Orthodox academy on the Upper East Side.

The Jewish Week reports on a new merit based scholarship that,

“…comes with $10,000 annually to help offset Ramaz’s tuition, which will top $30,000 this year for 12th grade. There is no application process; instead, the first cohort of 14 students was chosen based on their general applications and interviews. And in some cases scholarships are being offered to families who can well afford the pricey tuition without additional help.”

Would I prefer to also see financial aid offered specifically to those Jews of lesser means?

Yes.

Would I prefer to see Jews from “challenged” backgrounds get a leg up over everyone else?

No.

So what do we learn from this?

1) Jews ultimately prize merit. All the blather about how (some of us) treasure diversity is sheer bullshit. What many of us want most for our kids is a top quality education with the best and brightest they can be surrounded with. And for the all Jewish Ramaz to be held in such high esteem, well…that says a lot about how LITTLE we truly value the so-called strength of racial diversity, doesn’t it? Of course, I am sure that many of my friends on the social left (who themselves often attended private, all Jewish schools, unlike me who went to a public school) will tell you how important diversity really is…that is, for other peoples’ children, not their own. (I know, I know, doesn’t the adopted Korean kid count as diverse?)

2) Middle-class and working-class Jews seeking a traditional Jewish education for their children are increasingly being pushed to the haredi schools. The quality private schools never really had the same mandate to service the lower classes, and increasingly, only the haredim see a need to absorb Jews of lesser means. This translates into a choice between wither a haredi yeshiva system or a public school system, as the liberal and Modern Orthodox school are unaffordable to the masses of Jewry. For many Jews, this is an unattractive choice.

In the off chance that the Jewish community is actually serious about their concerns of a lessening affiliation, they should provide and subsidize other non-charedi educational options. Universal Jewish education should be a priority. Until that happens, I would strongly encourage those Jews of lesser means to understand that haredism isn’t worth the risk for your kids, and to respect the fact that the liberal and Modern Orthodox Jewish community simply has little use for Jews who aren’t rich.

Better to risk assimilation than haredism. Don’t send your children to a Chabad or B’nai Torah school system. It just isn’t worth the risk. Even the massive, massive problems of the “strengths” of diversity aren’t worth the risk of turning a child into haredi underachiever who speaks Yeshivish instead of English.

Instead, secular and liberal Jews need to mobilize and stand up to those attempting to constantly rig the standards of honors and gifted and talented programs in order to unjustifiably accept minority candidates who don’t really qualify for these programs in our public school system.

A lot of interesting problems are being explicated about Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, also known as the Chafetz Chayim.

The Chafetz Chayim was, like all men, flawed. And like all idolized haredi leaders, way too frum. Failed Messiah has the story.

Today we mourn Jerusalem, a once dignified ancient city. Now she sits in glitzy sackcloth, ashes, and confetti. Hollywood and Big Aish are double-teaming the Holy City like a couple of frat boys at the edge of Vegas. Having already had to swallow Big Aish’s jizz, Jerusalem is being forced to give it up in more creative and indulgent ways to please her depraved Zionist and Haredi masters. The Old City is now becoming a full-fledged kiruv brothel.

Ynet reports,

A grandiose museum featuring an elaborated massive replica of the Temple is currently being erected opposite the Western Wall.

The three-storey museum, whose construction is valued at nearly $20 million will be erected in the Aish HaTorah (”Fire of the Torah”) Yeshiva complex. The museum will feature a journey through Jewish history, from the days of Abraham to the present, emphasizing the message and significance of the Jewish people’s presence in the Land of Israel and their degree of accomplishment in world improvement.

I want this to be understood. Big Aish is in charge of depicting Jewish HISTORY. This would be the funniest thing ever, except the joke is on the Jewish people. This monstrosity is going to be opposite the Kotel.

Giving Big Aish the rights to Jewish history is utterly irresponsible. This is how desperate the Zionists have become. They are increasingly outsourcing to the haredim for support and legitimacy.

Hat tip: Failed Messiah