Israel Day Parade

Dov Bear is down on himself for not going to the Israel Day Parade. He is having a full Zionism-driven existential crisis. He is “effed-up” with things. I didn’t go to the parade because it seems to me that the organizers are not attempting to reach out past machers and the Jewsual suspects. I want the best for Israel. But I won’t hang out all day with the RWMO to prove it. You know what I mean, right? It’s packed with people like The Muqata. Look at his Leaderboard – yeah, with the kids dancing while staring blankly. You know why they’re so happy? Because they’re all drugged up, since they’re all diagnosed as “ADD” since they don’t want to sit still from 7am – 5pm, thanks to their “dual curriculum” yeshiva day school programming. Of course this “Adderall for our children” maniac Muqata is friends with Ezzie.

Anyway, I see more than enough of this rifraff all over the J-blogophere, so I don’t need to spend my weekends with them as well. When I want to spend Friday night singing Dror Yikra to the Beach Boys “Johhny B. Goode,” I’ll call them.

But Ron insisted I get away from my computer and go outside, and it seemed like good advice, so instead, Halfsours and I went to the American Museum of Natural History. See, if I were dating a haredi-chick, I wouldn’t be able to go there, because the museum is not in accordance with a literalist approach to Genesis, and the stuffed monkeys are not dressed in a tznius fashion. The entire dinosaur wing would be greeted with dismissals of “Sheker! Sheker!” But Halfsours is a Left-Wing Modern Orthodox Jewess, so we skipped the Israel Day Parade (she agreed to blow it off much quicker than I expected), even though Halfsours is a flaming Zionist. And the wild thing about going to the Natural History Museum on the Israel Day Parade is that there were no frum Jews! They were either 1) at the parade, or 2) they weren’t there that day because they aren’t there any day, because they are haredim, and haredim know that science is anti-daas Toyrah and that scientists hate frum people.

Still, we both would have liked to see NK getting the Zealots all pissed off. Not because we agree with them, but because it is funny, and Halfsours isn’t always very nice. Not all of them realize that when they start screaming like maniacs, NK wins. I bet the NK look forward to the Israel Day Parade even more than most adults there do.