Dark Light Tells You When and How to Answer the Phone
One of the wonderful things about haredism is that it gives you advice on aspects of your life that in a previous state, you would not have dreamed of asking a rabbi.
In this week’s “Ask.” Rabbi Mendel Weinbach, the dean of Ohr Somayach, fields an important spiritual question:
Question: It often happens that the telephone in my home rings after I have already retired for the night. I am sorely tempted to answer the call because it may be an emergency and am almost always disappointed to learn that the caller is merely some “late bird” who is calling about some non-urgent matter without considering that most people are already asleep. What is the right thing to do?
Tough one, right? Well, fortunately, daas Toyrah is here to help this poor bastard through his existential crisis.
Rabbi Weinbach answers:
Answer: Since people have different schedules for going to sleep there is no way of expecting everyone to have the consideration you believe is appropriate.
Perhaps the best solution is to introduce this note to the message on your answering machine:
“If you are calling after (whichever hour you choose) I am unable to answer because I have already retired for the night. If your call is of an urgent nature please ring again upon completion of this message and I will try to answer. Otherwise please save your call until tomorrow (indicate hours you are available) when I will be happy to speak with you.”
The fact that this man is answering these types of questions demonstrates how invasive Dark Light and haredi-kiruv is in the lives of their students.
A Reform, Conservative, or Modern Orthodox site would never post this under an “Ask the Rabbi” column, because it isn’t a normal thing to bring to a rabbi.
But Dark Light/Neve Yerushalayim and haredi-kiruv generally is exceptionally invasive, and attempts to control their recruit’s behavior far outside of the sphere of ritual.
17 comments
I know!!! my rabbi told me I couldn’t steal, kill or eat pork! wtf???? who does he think he is????
danny, how about you stop pretending you don’t see the problem here?
You’re right, DK. It is terrible when people ask ethical questions to people they consider to be wise. I understand Ann Landers started her fascistic religious cult in this manner.
Ron, there is a problem when people assume authority they are not entitled to. Would you not have a problem if Landers started playing Rosh Yeshiva?
first of all I assume that someone actually asked the question, so they were answering someones question not ordering people what to do.
second you will notice it is ADVICE at no point does the rabbi say YOU MUST or god says you must.
I have the same problem of Ann Landers being a Rosh Yeshiva as you commenting on ANYTHING jewish. you have the same qualifications…have heard of the concept but don’t even come close to understanding it and have an obvious bias
“I have the same problem of Ann Landers being a Rosh Yeshiva as you commenting on ANYTHING jewish. you have the same qualifications”
Of course danny, ONLY frum people have a right to comment on the BT movement, right?
if u notice I said judiasm. not just bt’s. you obviously have no real itea about judiasm and are just looking to make it as secular as possible which is the oposite of a religion. get some REAL torah knowledge before you comment. you are obviously smart and would be smart enough not to comment on the situation in tibet merely based on what u read in the washington post. so why do this with a religion u have rejected based on notions that are uninformed? don’t give me the “i was there” speech bc either u had terrible teachers or u weren’t listening bc your views could only be based on incorrect notions not the real judiasm
My understanding is that this has been a problem for years - people going to “the rebbe” or “the rov” to ask whether or not they should see a movie, whether they could eat broccoli, etc. The difference, I believe, is that years ago, rabbis put up with it. Now, it seems that (among the Hareidim) some of them encourage it - or, perhaps, it was always that way.
Jeff, the difference is that the fundamentalist B’nai Torah have adopted this asinine chassidic custom.
wtf is your problem with this one?
someone decided that this was a moral question for him, and not knowing his ass from his elbow in religious morality (bt) decided to ask someone whom he believed qualified for the religious perspective.
Do you think the questioner is dumb for making this a moral issue? Or is your problem with their posting practical advice for morons?
I’m guessing if they posted it, they got the same or similiar question more than once.
existential crisis roflmao
“Or is your problem with their posting practical advice for morons?
I’m guessing if they posted it, they got the same or similiar question more than once.”
They encourage people to ask them everything. They discourage thinking for oneself.
That is why they posted it.
that’s your (biased) interpretation
No, it’s their policy.
Suddenly, having made a commitment to a life of Torah, things are no longer so simple. He may very likely find that compared to the past, he is having a much harder time making decisions, because he no longer can think only in terms of what he thinks is appropriate, but rather what is really right, through the eyes of the Torah.
Even questions which would seem to call for a purely subjective evaluation are not left up to the inclinations and preferences of the individual. Defining beauty, for instance, becomes a complex proposition when a lulav or esrog is concerned; the Torah’s requirement of “hadar – beautiful –” is not left up to one’s aesthetic instincts. On occasion, the opposite is true: the esrog which you may consider “pretty” may be barely kosher by the halacha’s standards, while the real “m’hudar” could be less than dazzling in everyday terms. The more one becomes conditioned to the world of halacha, it would seem, the less valid individual preferences become.
http://www.shemayisrael.com/je...../kokis.htm
I think the question was asked since according to halacha your not really supposed to speak after you retire for the night and say hamapil. The guy probably wanted to know if he could answer the phone considering it might be an emergency.
Too darn many people want everything thought out, decided, etc. for them, but it isn’t just a Jewish problem, it is a human one.
People will gladly lick the boots of conquerers and politicians alike who promise to do all the hard work and hard thinking and hard feeling and free them up for other things, whatever those might be.
Though I hear it can be more of a problem for BTs than born frum people, encouragement to ask a rabbi about everything that crosses your mind as if you shouldn’t risk making a mistake, it’s common in the business world. Management undercuts employees, makes them feel like everything they do is wrong, then you get a culture of people not taking the initiative on anything, and asking guidance and permission on every little thing despite years of experience.
All this does is disenfranchise us from the conscience that should shape our free will, empowering those who give us guidance on every little thing, and leave us open to being punished arbitrarily whenever we make a mistake, despite the fact that many mistakes are made by direct order of some other power. Like a manager or a rabbi. This allows those in power giving the orders to shed the blame onto the drones they command.
So many people would gladly be on either side of that relationship, it is absolutely maddening. For the power of ignorance, or the power of command, but in the end neither notices they give up something really important.
Personally, I always answer the phone if I hear it, unless caller ID tells me it is a creditor, marketer, etc. that I already know.
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