“They’ve been Aish’d”
Danielle Kubes penned an article for the Jerusalem Post, ‘You’ve Been Aish’d,’ that illuminates a few problems with Big Aish. These are savory accusations, so let’s chew them slowly.
How did a 15-year-old girl of the 21st century, who gave no thought to slipping tank-top straps, underage clubbing and kissing boys in camp cabins, end up considering covered elbows and knees a necessary virtue?
High school and university campuses have noticed this phenomenon for years: Their friends come back after school breaks from Orthodox outreach programs clutching Artscroll siddurs, imbued with a penchant for Zionism and an aversion to intermarriage.
“They’ve been Aish’d,” is the commonly whispered comment, equivalent to “They’ve been brainwashed.”
Of course, by the way, Aish’s PR people (5WPR is Aish’s PR firm…who better?) are typically batty in that self-righteous, infuriated way, and actually ask why brainwashing is a problem, and insist universities do the same thing. See the comments section.
Remember, Aish is not the most extreme of the Big Kiruv orgs, she is just one of the glitziest and sleaziest. Let’s rejoin Danielle as she exposes more of Big Aish’s greasy sleights of hand, and touches upon the Big Lie of Big Kiruv.
As valuable as the Orthodox lifestyle may be, the methods used by these organizations are eerily cultish and the results often short-lived.
The organizations present their Judaism as the uniquely accurate one, the Halacha that the non-Orthodox have merely forgotten but that all their ancestors invariably followed. Their assumption that all our great-great-grandparents grew up in an Eastern European shtetl contributes to divisiveness among Jews, for it fails to acknowledge that Halacha has had a variety of interpretations across different times and cultures.
What happens when someone brings this up?
A fellow participant on my trip was ignored by advisers when she remarked that for some Sephardim, the only halachic requirement was to be more modest than one’s neighbors, and that the stringent laws that guide current frum fashion (good-bye collarbones, elbows and knees) were unnecessary. Outright dismissal of alternative views may drive sales of skirt manufacturers, but it is not beneficial to learning about the history of Judaism.
Why the trips in the first place?
They remove participants from their normal environment and place them in a new, vulnerable context. Traveling is a mentally exhausting experience in any case. How much more so that is in Israel, where one suddenly finds oneself part of the majority - an intensely emotional experience that these programs capitalize on. Foreign ideas suddenly seem reasonable: Instead of lecturing someone with mostly secular friends to stop eating pork, it is easier to just stop serving it for a month in a completely Jewish environment.
Within such an environment, participants are made to feel guilty about a lack of observance. The organizations criticize the secular lifestyle as hollow so that young people, always in search of identity, undergo a crisis of confusion about which path to take.
A FALSE dilemma is presented: Be secular and remain in impurity, where life is merely a game played for fun - or move toward a purpose and filled with holiness.
When presented so simply, which road seems more attractive?
And remember…everything is wonderful in Frumville!
But the teachings are superficial and the Orthodox world they present bears not a trace of dissatisfaction: Never did I ever hear a speaker or trip leader discuss any problems within the Orthodox world. Apparently, as long as they follow proper Halacha, everybody is happy and fulfilled, with neither depression nor repression, money nor domestic problems.
If you or someone you know has a loved one or family friend–especially a young person–caught in the tangly web of Big Kiruv, please make sure they are aware of the true cost of these “subsidized” trips.
Protect our youth from getting Aish’d up!
23 comments
How many more signs do people need that OJ is losing cohesion, and openly displaying a lack of faith and confidence? Cult tactics aren’t needed when the religion welcomes and embraces rather than controls and curtails. People come willingly.
I understand concerns about some of Aish’s tactics, but is this a more favorable alternative:
“…a 15-year-old girl of the 21st century, who gave no thought to slipping tank-top straps, underage clubbing and kissing boys in camp cabins…”
I know that you’ll say yes, DK. But to me, that lifestyle is repugnant. We need somebody to inject young women with some self respect. Certainly high school Health classes, MTV, teen magazines, any other source of secular influence, even parents, either aren’t bothering to, or doing so ineffectively.
Halfsours,
If the choice really is between one or the other, then we should absolutely embrace “slipping tank-top straps, underage clubbing and kissing boys in camp cabins.”
It’s still better than cult-like tactics and historical revisionism and false dichotomies like the one you just offered.
DK,
Neither indoctrination is entirely savory. I think I prefer the Aish way to the MTV way. I guess we have diverging points of perspective and priority. If we’re smart, we as Jews, and general society as well, will start indoctrinating kids with something in between the two. I think that would bet he most healthy.
How about neither? I think both suck, both absolutely suck…but Aish is worse.
You are acting like a kiruvnik, though, pretending these need be the parameters.
“You are acting like a kiruvnik, though, pretending these need be the parameters”
If by “Kiruvnik”you mean somebody with a strong opinion divergent from yours, than yes- I suppose I am.
This “…a 15-year-old girl of the 21st century, who gave no thought to slipping tank-top straps, underage clubbing and kissing boys in camp cabins…” is part of life for a lot of people, Jewish or not, who come through it all just fine, and stronger for the challenges in life they encountered, and dealt with.
Hiding from the world in seclusion avoiding temptations is like making swords that are never used. Sure, they’re pretty on the wall, but can you guarantee when everything else falls apart that they’ll do the job?
Besides, being a light unto the nations should be important and if there’s anything that the world needs, it isn’t neurotic obsession with tznius and so forth. What causes sexual immorality and easy using of others’ hearts is that something is missing in the hearts, minds, and personal worlds of those doing those things. The morality and ethics of Judaism and the chesed of the core of chasidism and the commonality and community of the Israelite nation are excellent example for a tired world. Lived every day by example, that is the light that was being referred to. It doesn’t do any good if you keep it in a cupboard though.
If by “Kiruvnik”you mean somebody with a strong opinion divergent from yours, than yes- I suppose I am.
Um…no, that’s not what I meant at all. I meant “kiruvnik”
as in someone with a propensity for false dichotomies.
Close, though.
“…is part of life for a lot of people, Jewish or not, who come through it all just fine, and stronger for the challenges in life they encountered, and dealt with.”
You can say that about almost anything. It doesn’t make it right. Our country should be outraged that behavior such as that is status quo for a “21st century girl”. I know that I am. Forget the Hareidi stuff and a “neurotic obsession with tzniut”. Don’t you feel that in today’s climate of morally bankrupt sexual laxity, that young girls need to be taught that being overtly sexual is not a great way to go through your young life? I don’t blame these poor girls. Only hypocrites like Opera and Tyra Banks are allowed to advocate modesty (and even more so celibacy) without being discredited as religious nuts. Maybe the religious nuts are right about a thing or two when it comes to this issue. There are more moderate ways to educate girls on modesty and celibacy. Is there a good reason that we should dismiss them?
The only one that I can think of is that a large percentage of men and boys would just stop getting laid. Frum skeptics are keenly aware of the supposed incentive for mashkiachim to develop further stringencies in regard to kashrut. Is there perhaps a different kind of incentive for certain people to come down so hard on modesty? Just putting that out there…
DK,
I don’t think I presented a false dichotomy at all. I didn’t suggest that those are the only two options.
Oprah*
“Is there perhaps a different kind of incentive for certain people to come down so hard on modesty?”
Honestly, my problem here isn’t modesty, provided it doesn’t interfere with functionalism. I am much more concerned with cult-like tactics, historical revisionism, and false dichotomies. You and the rest of the frummies can keep screaming about the evils of MTV and the like, but we will keep coming back to these (and other) basic concerns of the problems with Big Kiruv.
DK,
Please acknowledge that my concern for the emotional health of young girls and women, and your concern for indoctrinates of Aish and other Kiruv networks, are not mutually exclusive.
“…a 15-year-old girl of the 21st century, who gave no thought to slipping tank-top straps, underage clubbing and kissing boys in camp cabins…”
How is that a sign of lack of “self-respect”?
Haredism, like many other control-obsessed “spiritual” movements, is terrified of female sexuality. They might update their rationales with the vernacular of “self-respect,” just as they ladle out the preposterous assertion that women are on a “higher spiritual plane,” and that’s why they have different “obligations,” but it’s based on the same fear of women being independent and in control of their bodies and minds.
God, I’m so getting laid from that paragraph.
EV, by a frum woman?
EV,
I wouldn’t expect you to have any qualms with underage girls in compromising positions.
Impugnment on EV’s (sound) character aside, I really feel that most young girls who are overtly sexual in their dress and behavior suffer from a lack of self-respect; if a girl feels that she is beautiful and otherwise deserving of positive male attention, it doesn’t occur to her to resort to “slipping tank-top straps”.
Actually, it’s not uncommon that teens try to look older than they are. As they are growing up, they do not want to be mistaken for children anymore. Now, from what I’ve heard (many / all?) schools over there expect their students to at least wear short sleeves, over her bare arms aren’t even uncommon among faculty during the summer months. So over here, tank tops wouldn’t be considered sexual; slipping straps cannot always be avoided depending on the cut and the cloth (even less so with spaghetti strap tops), but rest assured, they don’t slip far. More and more schools here have been establishing dress codes here over the past few years as apparently many youjhs don’t learn the distinction between ’slutty’ (though they often do want to achieve that look - thanks to the dancers in many hiphop videos) and ‘casual’ anymore. The bad thing, according to my experience, is that those students that doll up tend to feel superior to others. Another bad thing is that many mothers these days want to be “best friends” - and raise thoroughly spoilt brats.
I went to school on the mean streets of Long Island; there were bare shoulders abound!
EV
woman in control of their minds?! what minds?
(Hi HS, Sarah )
Tisk tisk, Mo. You know better than that. Not only our own, but half the time yours as well…
Right on, Mohammed.
I almost don’t know where to start! Having read the original article on Jpost.com, my first thought was, “What an all around badly written op-ed piece.” I enjoy a good, thoughtful debate. But outright propoganda?
Point by point:
“their assumption that all our great-great-grandparents grew up in an Eastern European shtetl contributes to divisiveness among Jews, for it fails to acknowledge that Halacha has had a variety of interpretations across different times and cultures.”
-Halacha has had a variety of manifestations depending on culture and time. There have been many codifications of Jewish law: Sephardi vs. Ashkenazi for example. Aish is Ashkenazi, they’re not going to hold by halacha codified by a 16th century Sephardi Jew–two separate traditions (although the basic halachahs are very similar). Does this introduce divisiveness? No…Aish is simply not going to focus on an approach to Halachah other than Ashkenazi. If you’re from a different tradition at one of these programs, you’re probably in the wrong program and would want one to match your Jewish background.
“The organizations present their Judaism as the uniquely accurate one, the Halacha that the non-Orthodox have merely forgotten but that all their ancestors invariably followed.”
-All Ashkenazi ancestors did follow their approach to Halachah (with new interpretations arising from 19th-20th-21st century advancements) up until the Enlightenment. Halachah wasn’t “forgotten”–a conscious decision was made by Jews to abandon the halachah they thought didn’t apply, and that trend has continued in Conservatism, Reform, and Reconstructionism
“A fellow participant on my trip was ignored by advisers when she remarked that for some Sephardim, the only halachic requirement was to be more modest than one’s neighbors”
-Too many questions and not enough information presented here
1) Was this person Sephardic? Did they know really know the Sephardic approach to modesty? As readers we don’t know
2) “A fellow participant on my trip was ignored by advisers”
a. Were they really ignored? I don’t know, there’s no quotes here from the person, and the whole idea goes against the rest of the original article: that the program goes out of its way to make every participant feel like family. How can a program that ignores questions from and acts rudely towards its participants create an atmosphere where those participants will get brainwashed? Makes no sense.
“Why the trips in the first place?
They remove participants from their normal environment and place them in a new, vulnerable context. Traveling is a mentally exhausting experience in any case. How much more so that is in Israel, where one suddenly finds oneself part of the majority - an intensely emotional experience that these programs capitalize on. Foreign ideas suddenly seem reasonable: Instead of lecturing someone with mostly secular friends to stop eating pork, it is easier to just stop serving it for a month in a completely Jewish environment.”
1. If you’re going to learn about Judaism in a medium-term trip, doesn’t it make sense to do it in Israel with other Jews instead of in Kansas with a mix of Christians? I’m not sure that you can prove having a Jewish trip in Israel equates brainwashing
2. Anyone here travel on a guided trip? It’s far from mentally exhausting. I’ve been on Birthright, every step is planned out. I knew when I’d eat, where I’d be going, and material was clearly presented to me. Not mentally exhausting at all…actually, mentally stimulating.
3. Just like you’d go to Costa Rica for an immersive Spanish speaking summer experience, you’d go to Israel for an immersive Jewish learning experience. It is far easier to learn why to eat Kosher and then give it a shot in Israel than anywhere else. . Don’t like keeping kosher? Ok, like the author says, you’re free to do what you want when the trip is over. A clear line doesn’t exist between providing a conducive environment for learning Orthodox Judaism and brainwashing someone.
“Within such an environment, participants are made to feel guilty about a lack of observance. The organizations criticize the secular lifestyle as hollow so that young people, always in search of identity, undergo a crisis of confusion about which path to take.
A FALSE dilemma is presented: Be secular and remain in impurity, where life is merely a game played for fun - or move toward a purpose and filled with holiness.”
1. “made to feel guilty” Did the participants really feel guilty? How can the reader tell without direct quotes here? Again, the idea of trip leaders making their participants feel guilty goes against the picture Kubes paints in her full article about the trip going out of its way to create a welcoming environment. Trip participants might have noticed the disparity between their lifestyle and the Orthodox Jewish life style. Does guilt always manifest from that? Probably not–a participant could just as easily feel curiousity, repulsion, affinity, etc. Again, the journalism is not very good here and we will never know from the article what trip participants actually felt.
“The organizations criticize the secular lifestyle as hollow so that young people, always in search of identity, undergo a crisis of confusion about which path to take.”
1. Young, old, in-between, people are constantly in a search for identity.
2. Again, too much Opinion not enough Editorial: Any lifestyle has its drawbacks, religious, secular, hedonistic, ascetic, whatever. Does pointing out the criticism of one society actually cause a person to “undergo a crisis of confusion about which path to take.”"? I don’t know. A valid criticism presented to a teenager can be just that–an alternate view presented to a person who, based on life experience and age, is probably eager to stop taking things like their lifestyle at face value. Either way, from this article we don’t know how the participants felt, and the slant is a complete generalization of something that could go either way.
“A FALSE dilemma is presented: Be secular and remain in impurity, where life is merely a game played for fun - or move toward a purpose and filled with holiness.”
-Again, sweeping generalization. Did author research Aish’s stance of secular vs. religious?
Actually, this is a FALSE DILEMMA because this organization does not propose that dilemma at all. Rather, they say “you live in the secular world, how you deal with it is up to”. And of course, as a religious institution (which every one of these “Big Kiruv” organizations is up front about), they have their own particular take on how to best navigate the secular world. But there’s never a false dilemma presented between “Being secular and remaining in impurity, where life is merely a game played for fun - or moving toward a purpose and filled with holiness.”
Good Op/Eds present opinions, they don’t over generalize or present vague or incorrect information.
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