Forgiveness half a lifetime later…

I don’t usually share these types of stories about me, but…

When I was a younger person, a much younger person, I was miserable. I was on my way to becoming ultra-Orthodox, and too out of touch with my own feelings to know how awful I felt about it.

I visited some friends of mine while visiting my grandparents, a couple of my “camp friends” while there. I had attended music camp as a teenager, and met some wonderful people. Very different than the small town folks I grew up with. It was a music camp. No, not “band camp.” Music camp, And yes, there is a difference. There was a strong artistic bent to these teens, and the creative energy among my friends was inspiring in a way that I will always be grateful for having.

But that was before. Now, I was back in the U.S. after a year in Israel, and about to go back. I met with a couple of friends, one of whom (a really good guy) was experimenting to some degree with an alternative lifestyle.

And that night, hanging out with these two friends, (one, might I add, a young woman I absolutely adored), I said some very awful things. I said some things that have haunted me for many years.

While this wasn’t the only thing I regret from that period (by any means), it was the single worst incident. That incident replayed again and again in my mind… I’d just get wracked up with shame and self-loathing over it.

I found him online, recently, and sent him an apology. He signaled forgiveness, and I am very, very grateful.

Now…I feel very relieved. These networking sites offer us tremendous opportunities.

I feared I would go to the grave with this one.