Cyber Non-Dating

I always thought that Luke Ford’s crush on Amy Klein was cute. Amy was in my circle of friends when she lived in NY, and I certainly could understand why a fellah would have a thing for her. But I had no idea how intense it was. Intense as in, say, a personal story about it by Amy in the f’in New York Times!

Amy Klein writes,

… Ford and I settled into an uneasy relationship: He wrote nasty and stalkerish things about me, and I ignored him.

But it wasn’t easy. His blog’s popularity ensured that when a potential suitor or editor searched for information about me online, Ford’s posts were the first to appear.
[…]
Time and again I heard friends say with alarm: “Hey, Amy! Did you know there’s this guy on the Internet who writes all these things about you?”

“Yes, I know, he’s my cyberstalker,” I would say with resignation.

Although in truth it was oddly flattering to have someone obsessed with me, even someone like Luke Ford. We humans are egotistical creatures: We look through other people’s wedding albums searching for pictures of ourselves, so of course we can’t help but feel flattered by someone who follows our every movement, and even writes poetry about us. Under the title, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Amy Klein,” Ford wrote (quoting the Four Seasons):

Oh, I used to love to make you cry.

It made me feel like a man inside.

If I had been a man in reality,

You’d be here baby, loving me,

Now my nights are long and lonely.

And I ain’t too proud, babe.

My friends, suitors and editors were worried, but at this point he had been writing about me for years and never approached my residence or called or even sent me an e-mail message. “Don’t worry,” I told them using my favorite “Hitchhiker’s Guide” reference. “He’s mostly harmless.”

Needless to say, Luke Ford himself has been pretty excited about this article, even pretending that it was more negative than it was.