Dark Light explains: The reason we don’t get a boner when handshaking is because we are desensitized
December 9, 2008 Kiruv, Ohr Somayach/Dark Light
Rabbi Yirmiyahu Ullman explains why men and women don’t shake hands on Ohr Somayach’s website:
The reason for this is that physical touch is viewed as a potentially powerful and sensitive venue of interaction between people in general, and attraction between genders in particular. Even something as innocent and innocuous as a social handshake still involves touch, the underlying message of which is a mutual consent to connect. It is not coincidental, then, that in many cultures a verbal agreement becomes binding with a handshake. The hand-to-hand physical contact establishes a bond that binds people to one another. When this bond occurs between people of the same gender it is merely one of friendship; when between opposite genders it may extend, even if only subconsciously, further than that.
Admittedly, this might seem extreme and out of hand, but that may be because we’ve become desensitized to the power of touch. The general culture at large is so based on the physical and sensual, a person being bombarded constantly with implicit and explicit messages in all spheres of life, that we have lost the intrinsic sensitivity to intimacy and contact.
Yes. Today’s general culture is so depraved, we don’t get off on handshakes. Yes, rabbi. Clearly that is the reason.
Maybe I will go out this weekend, and find a young woman who will shake hands with me. From now on, I am going to refer to such an interaction as “third base.”
And I am not going to shake hands with Eli anymore. Now I realize…he is just trying to cop a feel.
8 comments
DK,
In the grand scheme of things, it probably isn’t worth the social consequences of refusing to go around shaking peoples’ hands. While I don’t believe in the push, I do believe in the premise. We are very desensitized to sexuality as a society. Just as an aside, I spent 10 minutes explaining to 9 year old Persian girls why they shouldn’t aspire to be Victoria’s Secret models. You know what they told me? They said that the Vikki’s girls were dressed normally. They think that style of dress is elegant, and becoming of a lady in the public sphere. Now artful, beautiful, sexy — yes. But should this*:
http://i.realone.com/assets/rn.....-large.jpg
really be viewed as couture? The answer should be no. Because too much sexuality, too much pushing the envelope, too much sex sex sex, makes it all lose its luster.
*Note the stunning shul hat she is wearing, by the way
And, also, I testify to having been absolutely electrified by a handshake in the past.
Remind me to wear latex gloves as a rule.
I’ve always wondered–with whom are gay frum Jews permitted to shake hands? And where do bisexuals put the mechitza?
C. Siegel: “I’ve always wondered–with whom are gay frum Jews permitted to shake hands? And where do bisexuals put the mechitza?”
Gay men should be allowed to shake hands with women because it might turn them straight, I would guess.
Bisexuals wear the mechitza like a personal mosquito net. They can read the siddur inside if ambient light is strong enough, but the material should be more opaque than let’s say bandage gauze. Just guessing on that again.
The reason for handshakes is more along the lines of it constituting physical contact that leaves you open to attack, leaves them open to your surprise attack, both have to trust each other to do it.
The custom of using the right hand has been said because humans are overwhelmingly right handed and tend thus to use a weapon with their right. Shaking hands shows your weapon not to be in your hand. Not sure how valid this is.
this guy deals with some chabad guys who wouldn’t shake shands with a girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G4DjmRhMXM
[...] Here it says, And I am not going to shake hands with Eli anymore. Now I realize…he is just trying to cop a feel. [...]
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