How do you say “chutzpah” in Heebish?

November 18, 2009   Forward, Heeb  

by DK

If only someone had sent them there

If I had read a lambasting of the Forward’s painfully cutesy article on teaching Yiddish to babies (please stop) anywhere else, I would probably have agreed with it.

But Jewdar inadvertantly demonstrated that I would have been wrong.

Jewdar lambasted the Forward’s article on Heeb. Heeb’s writers are such greenhorns to Yiddish, they make up words and declare them “Yiddish.” Being Heeb, their readership is utterly clueless when this happens. Obviously, Heeb’s writers do have a lot of knowledge about compelling “side-glance” Jewish topics, the Ultimate Fighting Championship has changed since the 90s, the careers of (the siblings of) pop stars, and how to determine the sex of a guinea pig. And such contributions may prove no less valuable than Heeb’s contributions to the Yiddish language itself, even if it is not the hardest thing to contribute something at least equal in value to gornisht.

And yet…despite Heeb’s continued contributions to American Jewish literacy, there is something sad and not a small bit unsavory in seeing Heeb’s outrage over what is admittedly not the finest Forward attempt at strategizing a revival of Yiddish (it’s so happening!), even among a long string of most dubious declarations of such a resurgence.

If anything, Heeb may be proving the Forward has a point. If you don’t teach your kid all those annoying Yiddish sayings, or even more likely, if you don’t teach them anything at all, they could–rachmana litzlan–grow up to be Heeb readers, or worse (nebach), Heeb writers.

9 comments

1 Jeff Eyges { 11.18.09 at 7:52 pm }

Do they get upset when you say these things?

2 DK { 11.18.09 at 8:14 pm }

I mean…Jewdar wrote it and knows me, and sent me a note in Yiddish to “kiss [his] ass.”

It sounds better in Yiddish.

3 jewdar { 11.18.09 at 9:28 pm }

Kelsey is such a nudnik, how can you get mad at him? The only reason why I told him to “kusch mir im tuchis” is because he knows that I agree with him about how awful “tushy shtup” is, so he knows his comments blaming me for it needle me (essentially, it would be like me blaming him illegal immigration). As for the Jewish illiteracy of Heeb readers, I’m working on it, one small, celebrity packed blurb at a time.

4 SJ { 11.19.09 at 6:33 am }

I like Modern Hebrew more than I like Yiddish.

5 jewdar { 11.19.09 at 9:58 am }

Now you’re really going to piss Kelsey off.

6 DK { 11.19.09 at 10:01 am }

By Modern “Hebrew,” do you mean Israeli?

7 SJ { 11.19.09 at 3:42 pm }

Yes. Thing is I’m having questions as to whether I’m still zionist. I support Israel if it’s a Jewish America, not if it’s a Jewish Iran. O.O

8 DK { 11.19.09 at 4:50 pm }

SJ, Israel might answer you, “And why do you think we have to choose one or the other?”

9 SJ { 11.19.09 at 5:01 pm }

Because not having liberty sucks.

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