Category — Humor

Most of us are fans of Stuff White People Like, a great stealth paleo-conservative voice that many mistake for hipster self-deprecation.

There is a Jew who is writing blog after blog inspired mostly by the latter interpretation. Stuff Jews Hate. Stuff Shmeckles Hate. Stuff Nazis Hate. They are all written by the same person, and no, not by me. If I did a Stuff Jews Hate blog, it would be quite different.

Update: The author noted that I forgot “Stuff Tushies Hate.” I don’t know how I forgot that one.

Purim is coming, and Eli Valley does not disappoint.

Big Kiruv is on the march!

So what do we do?

We need to aggressively begin recruiting young ultra-Orthodox Jews to secularism. They will go apeshit if that works, or if it even threatens to work. Websites, flyers, organizations, etc.

And the more violently the frum react, the the better. The frum are running out of time to recruit the masses of Liberal and secular Jewry. And their penchant for victimology is their weakness. It isn’t hard to get them to lash out in an offensive and abrasive manner. They can’t help themselves.

They are very big kikes.

I get lost in work, politics, and all that is wrong with mainstream Jewish organizations. Exhausted, I finally took a nap. And there, I received a repeated message that is compelling.

“Follow the supernatural girl to the spaceship.”

So tomorrow night I fly out after almost a month in Israel. Right now I am waiting on my one o’clock. It is 1:15.

I have to admit, I had a pretty good time. I suspect my knowledge of Hebrew helps a bit. Though certainly not fluent, I do speak and read Hebrew, and the latter skill is critical in terms of knowing the difference between a Felafal joint and a hardware store without having to go inside them.

Also, unlike many people, I suppose, I can read Arabic numerals, which helps in terms of pricing, etc. So I am perhaps a little better off than many who visit here.

Rabbi Eric Yoffie critiques Israel’s school system, and asks,

Would we not all agree that every Israeli child should be prepared for the workplace and taught to embrace democratic values?

The rabbi is clearly a self-hating Jew.

Gotta give Eli Valley credit. He pumps the Forward’s readership and reputation even when they don’t publish his work. Dan Friedman discusses the brouhaha in “Our comics don’t eat brains,” noting,

Finally, at least for today, the diaspora satire on diasporic educational projections of Israel have wended their way over to the land of chimpanzees itself (just kidding — not even a metaphor). [Editor's note: critical link to Israeli newspaper on comic deleted by mendacious blogger looking to cause controversy over bubkes]
[...]
Anyway, thanks for the attention guys. I’m thinking of spiking a 5,000 word piece on the interaction between Jewish accountants in nineteenth century Latvia — can’t wait for the blogs to get hold of that!”

The pro-circ defenders — not unheard of in my own community — will often attempt to intimidate intactivists into silence through a myriad of tactics. To express skepticism about circumcision is to invite personal attacks and innuendos upon one’s manhood.

But there is one group who won’t be intimidated into silence about expressing their opinions on all things penis: the queers. And frankly, they probably understand the pragmatic differences between cut vs. intact better than any of us.

The adoption of intactivism by the gay community as a pressing human and child rights issue will present a formidable challenge to the powerful circumcision industry and its lobbies. Whatever dubious (and downright bogus) studies the pro-circ communities will invoke to support continued MGM, the queers will remind everyone that something tangible and valuable is being discarded. And that is, of course, the often overlooked core of the matter.

No serious person can effectively dismiss the gay community’s expertise on all things penis. And no one is going to succeed in getting them to change the general subject.

Hat tip: Male Circumcision and HIV

Let there be no confusion.

In this week’s parsha (Torah portion), Pinchas, we learn that if a Jewish man sleeps with a gentile woman, they both deserve to be put to death with a spear through their genitals.

It is pretty hard to find middle ground on intermarriage with the Orthodox when this is their starting position.

Whenever I heard this parsha as a young adult, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Who are these Midianite women, and why don’t they attend my high school?”