Category — JTS

Family members of mine are going to attend a wedding of two Lesbians (neither is family). They are not thrilled about this, and like me, see no rationale for same sex marriages in so-called “traditional” Judaism. (Note to my social-Left readers: not seeing a rationale for same sex marriages under traditional Jewish auspices is not the same as stoning gays to death — thanks in advance for recognizing this subtle, but important distinction.) What I find so grating is that the Conservative Movement has moved towards endorsing same-sex marriage even as they continue to rail against intermarriage. That’s just weird. At least the Reform are consistent in their absolute rejection of the need for any semblance of a traditional Jewish family unit. (I guess).

Of course, the Modern Orthodox are not exactly consistent either. They have little problem with adoption of half of Korea by Orthodox Jews who can’t have kids and dumping them in the mikvah, but God help you if you marry out.

Then there are the haredim, who are so busy keeping converts who don’t reject an “Old Earth” science or macro-evolution, that they are destined to accept no one but freaks, and will then dutifully whisper to each other how converts tend to be nuts, even worse than BTs (baal teshuvahs).

The fall of the Conservative movement to this nonsense was quite natural, of course. Their young rabbinical types are frequently dour, humorless types whose only pleasure in life is pushing the envelope on social revolution issues against dour, sometimes quite funny people whose only pleasure is differentiating the Conservative movement from the Reform.

Dear Dr. Wertheimer,

As we all know, the Conservative Movement has tossed the remnant of their tallis to the gay bathhouses to be used as a towel at their discretion.

And for a long time, many of us with ties to the Left-wing Modern Orthodox world have looked to you with admiration, and confusion that you associated theologically with the Conservative Movement. Which isn’t to say we questioned your decision to associate with the academic wing of the JTS. We are not Agudahniks over here, and respect the academic wing of the JTS. That’s no problem. Academics are academics.

But it is time, sir. It is time for you to come home, to the Left-wing Modern Orthodox Jewish community. Now I know you will be tempted to go to the UTJ instead. But please don’t. It is more of the same focus, obsession with “social revolution,� just like at K.O.E. (yawn). They only cared about what new gender-bending innovation Rabbi Halivni would sanction. Haven’t you had enough of that? The LWMO community is interested in other aspects of Judaism and Jewish history, not just “gender issues.�

Bring your scholarship to our camp. You can reinvigorate the Left-wing Modern Orthodox community, in a strategic way Rabbi Berman could not. Get Orthodox smicha, repudiate the official JTS policies you had to nominally comply with, become our grand rabbi, and don’t get too close to JOFA. It’s killing the LWMO. It’s like trying to watch the ballgame while a woman brandishing a rolling pin is screaming at you. It’s hard to convince your friends to come over and hang out with you on your sofa.

But please – don’t go to the UTJ. It’s a dead end. And worse, they are boring. Come to the Left-Wing Modern Orthodox community. We deserve you, and have always admired you. We would appreciate you, and therefore, you would be able to help us more than you can those in the Conservative Movement, who have less respect for scholars than we do. You could really make a difference if you joined us.

Think about it.